she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize