I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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