We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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