I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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