Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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