I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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