so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
