yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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