she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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