he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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