is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your penis caused this!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
