summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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