is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
