i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize