We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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