How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
