dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
