I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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