i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
