I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
