I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
