I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
