You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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