scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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