this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize