People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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