she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
