Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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