I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
