we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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