So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
