brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
