My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
