Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This baby is an asshole
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
