She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
