WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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