I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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