Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
