Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
