8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A bitchslap is in order.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
