I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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