the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
