didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
