its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we're so committed to being not committed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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