I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
