I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
