You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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