well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
