Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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