Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
