I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
