nut hugger
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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