Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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