please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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