"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
