I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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