My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize