wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
