Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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