He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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