So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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