spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
