just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
